Old Habits
by Unbreakable111
Summary: Natasha make a late night call to the retired Clint Barton after a mission leaves her extremely rattled. She knows he can help her because he always has, only he knows her entire past, what makes her afraid. Sorry i am no good at summaries but the story is better than this summery i promise!


Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Natasha's POV

It's about 1 a.m. and I can't sleep tonight. I just got back to my room at the Avengers tower a few hours ago. It takes a while for the shock of the mission to wear off so I make something to eat for dinner, take a long hot, shower that lasts about 30 minutes. By the time my shower is over I can feel myself start to fall apart, a feeling I try to ignore as I change into some sweats and crawl into bed around midnight. By now my mind is racing, replaying the horrors of the mission I just completed.

 _I am in Moscow tracking an assassin and I am to terminate him. This is something I have done countless times so it should have been easy. I have been watching him for a day and I watched him attempt to take out his target but I drew the law enforcement to him and disappeared before he saw me. Today I have been tracking him for about an hour waiting for a chance to strike when he enters a seemingly empty ally. I come around the corner and enter the ally to find him looking right at me as if he was expecting me. Then a young girl who looks about 13 comes out of the shadows and hands him some money and he disappears into one of the buildings._

" _What's going on here?" I ask._

" _You're a traitor to your nation and I have been sent to kill you." The girl responds coldly._

" _What are you talking about?" I ask moving my hands slowly towards my guns._

" _Surely you haven't forgotten the people who made you what you are Natalia." She says smirking._

" _How do you know that name?" I ask surprised._

" _Ivan sends his regards."_

 _So this was all a trap for me. I should have known._

" _You don't have to do this. There is another better life. I can show you if you come with me now." I try to reason._

" _I won't betray my nation by becoming some weak American."_

 _I see her reach for her gun and I draw mine and shoot before she has the chance. Then I just turn and walk away calling in for my extraction._

I can't stop thinking that she was only a child and I should have done more. "What if I could have saved her like Clint saved me all those years ago?" I wonder to myself. Then suddenly I am reaching for my cell phone and am dialing Clint's number not caring that it was late. I need to hear his voice because he always helped me through the nights like this but this is the first incident I have had since his retirement. The phone rings a few times and much to my relief he picks up

"Hello? He asks sounding very groggy.

"Clint?" I whisper.

"Nat? Are you okay?"

"Yes and no. Can you talk?"

"Yeah give me a minute to get somewhere where I won't wake Laura and the kids up."

I wait about a minute or so until his voice appears back on the line.

"Okay tell me what wrong Nat. is" he asks concerned.

"I'm sorry it's so late."

"You know you can call anytime. Did you have another nightmare?"

"No. I just got off a mission that went badly."

"What happened? He asks.

"I was in Moscow tracking an assassin and I walked right into a trap set by the Red Room. The man I was tracking was just bait to lead me to the newest Black Widow."

"That's horrible Nat! I'm so sorry!" he responds sounding upset.

"That's not the bad part Clint. She was only 13. That's 7 years younger than I was when I was out on these missions but she was just as seasoned as I was. I tried to save her like you saved me but she wouldn't listen and I killed her." I say with tears in my eyes and my voice shaking.

"You tried your best Nat."

"What if I didn't try hard enough? What if I had forced her to come with me?"

"She didn't want to be saved. That's the difference between her and who you were. You wanted to be saved even if you didn't know it at the time. You had no choice but to kill her or she would have killed you instead."

"Thanks Clint. I know your right." I say feeling better after talking to him.

"Do you have any time off?"

"Yeah I have a few days. Why?"

"Come down to the farm and spend some time with your family." He encourages because Clint, Laura and the kids are like my family in all ways except blood.

"Ok I will." I agree feeling tired for the first time since arriving home.

"Can you tell me about them? What's changed since I was there last?" I ask hoping to listen to him talk until I fall asleep.

"Well Laura had Nathaniel. He's so beautiful, just like his namesake. I can't wait for you to meet him. The Cooper and Lila have been asking about you a lot, they want to know when Auntie Nat will be home again." This is the last thing I heard because I finally fell into a deep, restful sleep.

When I wake up the next morning I see that my phone had fallen onto the ground. I must have dropped it when I fell asleep. I picked it up and saw that I had a new text message from Clint.

"Come home Nat."

I eat breakfast and pack a bag of my things and book a flight to Virginia where Clint's secret home was located.

"It will be nice to see them all again" I think contently when my plane lands and I wait for him to pick me up at the airport.

Authors Note: I will post another chapter and maybe write the story in Clints POV soon if you guys want! Thanks for reading! I would really love it if you would leave a review and you don't have to have an account to do so! Thanks everyone!


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